So here it is, my periodical comments on the state of dating in New York City, or as I like to call it in dating terms, the ninth level of hell...
Something keeps happening over and over again that I thought would end after high school, maybe college the latest. What is it you ask? How about the vicious cycle that is your crush on someone that doesn't want you back, and you don't want to guy/girl that is crushing on you, and all of you keep chasing after most people you can't have, like the dragon chasing the pearl. That happens so often here in New York City that I don't think there are enough lights in the city for heartbreaks. It ridiculous. And I blame it on this statistic I keep hearing that there are more women in NYC than there are men, so it creates this vortex in which men don't have to make any serious commitments because they can have their pick of any woman here, and woman lose out because we are all chasing after the same handful of good catches and everyone is miserable, except for the fleeting moments that the men are getting laid. Well, we women like getting laid too, but I think the guys are getting more notches than we are. But I digress...
So where does this leave us all? Just the fact that people I know have boyfriends/girlfriends and are actually getting married is nothing short of a miracle. Because I know so many, many other lonely people that just can't find not only the right person, but a right person. And no one puts energy into relationships anymore. You get into your first fight? No problem!! The man can just get right back out there no problem. The woman just has her booty calls and tries and tries again.
I fit into this story personally because I am hanging out right now with a nice guy, but there was one I met before him who I just have not been able to get out of my head. And my nice guy loves me, but I can't get the other guy from under my skin!! I have watched my crush flirt with other women and have died over and over wondering why it is he seems to gravitate toward these other women who obviously aren't as dope as I am. He and I have had a few conversations in which I know I have blown his mind a little. His friends have even attested as to how cool I am. I know he's attracted to me, as I am to him, so what's the problem? What is the problem??
I pray that perhaps, by some deep, deep miracle of god, mother nature, the universe and Oprah that maybe he is thinking the same thing that I am, and that is where the disconnect is coming from. Maybe he thinks that I couldn't possibly like him because I am so cool. (Did I mention how cool I am?? *smiling jokingly*) And I sit here thinking that he may like me, but he has hoards of women to choose from and there's always someone out there that has more money, connections, thinner, younger--but not cooler!! So perhaps if, just like in high school, one of his friends told me that he digs me and one of my friends told him that I dig him, perhaps we can come together. Who knows....
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1 comment:
I just have to say that, sometimes, being alone (i.e. single) does not necessarily mean being lonely. I am alone but by no means am I lonely. I think the lure, the attraction, what reels them in is when you are confident, sexy, intelligent ... and not lonely, not exuding loneliness.
I agree that not many seem to put effort into relationships anymore. The first sign of strife, of the fact that a relationship isn't all movie flowers and hearts and that kind of bullcrap, and people bail. To me, the signs of a good relationship show themselves during the hardest moments. THAT'S when you know you have it good, when you know you two can survive anything.
Now I have a question for you. Your friends have told him you like him. His friends have done the same. But have you actually told each other? Once you do that, then you've graduated from high school.
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