Please Don't

So I have recently gotten into this thing on Facebook called Flirt With Hotties. Yes, cheezy, but I have found it to be a great way to do what I like to do: meet people. And not only local people, oh no!! I prefer to meet people worldwide, which is what I have been doing since I started playing with this strangely addictive feature. I have met people in Egypt, Denmark, Croatia, Netherlands, Australia, Canada and Greece. I love it!!

But now that I get to peer into the snapshots and lives of people all over the world, I have noticed a few trends. The first one being teenagers. Yes!! There are teenagers signed up to this application, trying to flirt with (gasp!!) hotties!! Now I remember what it was like to be a teen and yes, I was trying to flirt with hotties too and that's why it scares me--because I know they're thinking the same thing I was thinking!! Anyway, I started talking about teenagers because in the photos they post of themselves, I have noticed nair a smile cracked on a considerable number of their young, supple little faces. A lot of times they don't look into the camera, either having their heads turned or wearing sunglasses. There are a lot of them (and mind you I am speaking about the men, I would not be trying to flirt with women) that have hoodies on which partially cover their faces. But the look is all the same: a generally bored or mildly angst-like look. Now how do they suppose anyone would flirt with them when they look so....oh I don't know....irritated?

And please don't get me started on the numerous pictures of middle fingers thrust at the viewer.

Now, there are another batch of pictures on here that really disturb me. And those are the pictures of men holding guns, and more specifically pointing the gun at the camera!! Oh yeah, I'd love to flirt with you you heat-packing psycho. Really!! Those are pictures to impress your dude friends, not to get the "fairer sex" to be interested in you. Do you know what that screams to me other than you are a cracker militia candidate who would probably slap his woman around? (I have yet to see anybody other than white men holding guns. And they all seem to be in the US and Canada.) You are a cracker militia candidate that would slap and shoot his woman.....and the neighbors dog if it pooped in your garden, and the guy that cut you off on the highway, and hippies, and your boss for firing you, and brown people. Yeah, any woman would be lucky to have you return her flirt.

Then there's everybody's favorite, the buff abs shot. And that's all you see in the picture. Like that's all that is meaningful about him. It brings to mind those graffiti images I used to see around NYC of a female torso with the head, arms and legs cut off, suggesting that all you need from the woman are the tits, ass and...well, you know. Now, being the boy crazy chick that I am, a tight abs shot is great to look at. But to go further, to actually wrap my head around the possibility of going for a guy like that? Hell no!! A dude like that is the same as the botox addicted, hair weaving, malnourished, lipo-happy Barbie-girl. They are too much maintenance, believe me. That is why those women and men are so very unhappy and have strings of failed relationships. With regard to the men, how the hell is he supposed to spend time with me when he needs to be in the gym twelve days a week to keep up those abs? And to have to hear a lecture about what I eat everyday, I'd be driven to jump out of a window. And god knows I am NOT fighting him for the mirror everyday. No. Mirror mine. He go play some football or watch porn or something. I'm not into the gym culture anyway, and I sure as hell am not going to go with someone that puts more energy into his own looks than into chillin' with me. Those high maintenance freaks just don't get it--they are no deeper than the drops of tears they shed when they get left over and over again.

But to end this on a high note, I did see this picture and had, just HAD to press the flirt button:

Wouldn't you??

He's a 20 year old from Croatia studying electrical engineering. Creative and smart!!

Disclaimer: Though I am very opinionated and can be blunt with what I want to say, I am being cheeky and do not mean to generalise about all gun enthusiasts, Midwesterners, Canadians, pretty boys and pretty girls.

Un Petit Commentaire

Oh boy, oh boy. It is summer and if it wasn't already obvious enough that I was feeling the effects of the summer heat, I am saying it out loud now. I need some man-flesh like you wouldn't believe. Anyone that knows me knows I am boy crazy, but it gets oh so much worse in the summer. I needs a six pack of that to the left more than I need my usual six pack of beer!! GIVE ME MAN!!

Some of My Favorite Men

MEOW!!!!
Donnie Baseball Mattingly will always and FOREVER be the love of my life. I mean, for god's sakes, LOOK AT HIM!! Those dark curls, that thick lustrous mustache, oh my god the butt on that man!! Donnie, I love you!! Oh god, please let that man know that I love him. No, really, go down to L.A. in a dramatic thunderbolt, maybe a burning bush or something, darken the sky so he knows you're serious and tell that man that I am COMING for him.

I could be thrown into jail in several countries for what I'd like to do to Rafael Nadal.... kitty wants to rub on his leg and nestle on his chest!!

Same exact thing for Uriah Faber, even despite the fact that I think he's about five inches shorter than me. Who cares? Look at those eyes....uh yeah, and the muscles don't hurt either....

Thank god Plaxico Burress lives in New York--or at least works here. Can I meet this man, PLEASE?!?! Those lips, those lips!!

Kevin Boss, another New Yorker, another cutie, another Giant like Plaxico. Will I also corrupt this sweet young man? Why, yes, I think I will.....

Yet another New York Giant, Michael Strahan. Tell me that gap isn't sexy!! And that chest, and that face.....oh man!! Man, yes, MAN!! Kitty likes man!!

All I can say about Grady Sizemore is GIVE ME.

Ohhh, Rashad Evans. The sweetest, soft spoken, nicest, most darling young man you'd ever care to meet with those beautiful eyes. Yeah.....I'll corrupt him too!!

There is something about Hideki Matsui that makes me want to jump all over him.... Maybe it's his manly hands, I just don't know.....but me like, me like a lot.....

And lookie here what I found. Preston Mattingly. Yes, as in Donnie's son. Good lord, the man handed his sexiness down to his boy, without even loosing any of his own. God I know I have to meet Don and thank him for being Don, then thank him for bestowing this god-like dude on the world. Donnie part deux.

This by far and away is totally just a short, short SHORT list of the men that I freakin' drool all over. When the mood hits me, more to come!!

Greetings From Easthampton

Here I am posting from the Hamptons (yes, I did bring my computer with me, the compulsive blogger that I am) and I have been having a wonderfully relaxing time. The kind of time that I have needed for so long. Not only that, but I have been working on a killer tan, slowly roasting my skin in the sun to get the kind of tan lines I can show off drunk in a bar to willing spectators...

But anyway, now, I have not been partying it up like so many stories of posh debauchery and trendy bastards living it up out here. Quite the contrary. I have been chilling out with my mother and a friend of hers and her friend's brother--all older hippies. (As you know, straight up my alley!!) And I have had a great time listening to gossip about families, Wall Street-ers, celebrities that bring their kids to the same school as my mom's friend's grandkid's school, the history of the town, etc. I must admit, I did at once get a pang to maybe hang with someone my age, but then that passed when I saw a few and they were just posing for each other trying to been seen more than the other and get totally laid.....although you know I have nothing against getting laid. But in layman's terms, not my scene to be a spotlight hound.

Check this out. Here is the view from the kitchen of my mom's friend's house. Freakin' dynamite, yes?? You should see it in real life, this picture does it no justice. We spent a lot of time in the kitchen talking and hanging out. I could live in this kitchen forever. Granite countertops, two dishwashers, couches, tons of cabinets and yeah, the freakin' BEACH right outside the door!!

Here is the pool. Need I say more than if you don't feel like getting sand in your bottom, you can just g to the pool and have a margarita. Doesn't hurt to have the swim instructor come once a week to train you in water conditioning...

Here is a shot of the rafters in the guest cottage. I am a big fan of wooden beams/rafters in cottages and especially if they still smell all woodsy and make you feel like you are in a cabin somewhere deep in the forest. And this guest cottage did just that. It was decorated in warm tones and I just melted. I swear if there were a fireplace in there I would swear that I was in a mountain cabin that could be a ski lodge!! Dare I say this cottage was very romantic? The beams also went down the length of the walls and of course the floors were wooden and there were windows all around the walls and each one was big and had screens in place so you could air the whole place out during the summer, sans the bugs from the garden just down the path. Ahh, beauty and nature!!

So you see, I didn't need to be livin' it up, rubbing elbows with the rich and "fabulous" in order to enjoy the great understated beauty of the Hamptons and Long Island in general. Because lord knows I have made fun of Long Island my entire life, until I got older and realised there was more to it than just the bars and shopping malls....

And Guidos....

But I like Brooklyn Guidos.....

Ode to the Fray

I have had these pictures sitting in my computer and not doing anything with them until now. This is the photo-blog of some of my chums, pals, friends and debaucherous comandants....


I love you all!!

...I'm a Toys R Us Kid......

Well kids, yet once again I've been out drinking and getting buzzed, cavorting and having a great time. I must say that the travails of unemployment don't go without its upside. And that is drinking during the day!!

OK, I haven't been doing that every day (my poor liver couldn't take it) but I have at least once or twice during the two weeks I have been between jobs gone out during the workday. Yet, feeling like the quintessential alcoholic during these times, I couldn't believe that when I walked into a place, there were already people there!! Then I didn't feel so bad.

So anyway, I found this place in Williamsburg called The Levee on N 3rd Street. They are open at like noon and this place is right up my alley!! They have great beers, a pool table, rock jukebox and pretty cool bartenders. I have gone in here twice and have left stumbling just enough to enjoy the buzz, but not enough to kill myself on the fucked up roads going back to my neighborhood from Williamsburg. The last time I was there I did just that. Case in point:


I met these two brothers there. (How could you look at the two of them and not know they are related?) So I whipped out my camera after spending a couple of hours talking to them and playing pool, and of course, drinking. I wanted to get a picture of them because they were totally cool. Notice the boobie grab. If you did, good for you because I didn't notice it until I looked at the actual picture!! Their friend snapped the shot, thn I grabbed the camera to see how it looked and I was like, "Wow, that's a great pic --heeeeyyyy.....wait a minute!!"


Good times, good times......