Frustración

I am just about over it.

The unemployment here in Las Vegas is staggering. For bartenders!! And what's worse is that here, they aren't looking to hire bartenders that know what they're doing. Oh no. They are looking to hire young, stupid, busty, attractive girls--or so they think because some of the dogs I've seen here could break mirrors...but they are oh so blonde!!--with little to no experience, but as long as their tits shake when they move, it's A-OK. I am (not so) young (much), busty and attractive, and I know how to make good drinks. I have tons of experience, but I think the managers take one look at me and realise that I am not going to put their penis in my mouth. Oh yes, I said it. And I am not the only one around here who says it out loud. From what I am gathering in my job hunt here, there are many, many frustrated mixologists that are being overlooked. I would love to get those bartenders like me together who are serious about the craft and form our own union. And it's not to say that the young, busty girls couldn't join. But they sure as shit better know how to make a good drink.

The men in Vegas aren't cute. Not even attractive. I don't think I'll be dating anyone for a long, long time. I am sexually frustrated. I think I've forgotten what a man looks like naked. The only picture I can conjure in my mind's eye is an undressed Ken doll. That's not right, is it??

Because I am still looking for a gig, I live at home. Mother is driving me to consider somehow putting myself into the hospital just so I can get away from her. I need the rest and quiet.

Seth Rogan was named one of the sexiest men of the year. Really? Have we somehow changed the definition of (the word) sexy? Because in order to tag that word to him, it would have to mean dumpy, frumpy, blends into a crowd, gaining weight by the minute, frizzed out hair and no discernible musculature whatsoever. If that's what it means then go right ahead and stamp the word "sexy" right on his forehead. In red. And you'd have to move the fro up somehow. How about with a terry cloth headband? Also red.

As one of my favorite stand up comics Sommore says, "Gas is so high, it makes you want to fuck a bus driver, don't it?"

I don't have a television. All my stuff is still in storage in New York City. As soon as I can get a job I can bring all my stuff here. Though, with no television, I found that you can watch a lot of TV programs and movies online. However, I have come to learn really quick that you CAN actually run out of stuff to watch online. Not TV though. Oh no. Even when regular programming is out for the day, you can watch shitty infomercials all night. They are indeed pure crap, but hey, it's on all night. When insomnia hits, who doesn't want to learn more about mineral makeup, steam mops, one step kitchen grillers, food processors, body shapers, vacuums, anti-aging creams, diets, Ginsu knives and hair replacement systems? I mean, god forbid these stations would syndicate great 80's sitcoms.

If you feel that I am a bit snarky in this post, well, I am. I'm pissed damn it!!

Great Old School Leather Gay Bar Poster

I know, I know, you're wondering why a girl is in a gay men's bar, taking pictures of posters for old school leather bars..... I just love the poster.....

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Great Poster

I was in this leather men's gay bar last night (don't ask) and they had some old school leather gay bar posters on the wall. I absolutely LOVED this one.....

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

The Finalility

Today I had to do one of the hardest things one has to do as an adult: cut off a bad friend.

Unfortunately I had to find out by living with this person that she was a bad friend. It got to the point that my feelings for her were souring. I didn't want to spend much time in the house with her. I was getting frustrated by her lack of help with household chores. I was realising that she drank excessively, which the drinking itself didn't bother me as much as the fact that the money she spent on booze could have gone to cleaning supplies, dishes, more furnishings or even better cable channels. She spent time in the house either sleeping off her drunkenness or coming in at all hours with others in tow and drinking until she passed out. And her room looked like a bomb went off in there!! (Not to mention that it smelled.) Now, I have never hid the fact that I like to hang and drink and can drink a lot, but in contrast to the bad friend, I was getting things done. My bills were paid, my room was clean, I was the only one cleaning the house, I made appointments and kept them, I was always on time for work. I budgeted my money so that I could hang, but still handled my expenses. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying these things to make myself look better than the bad friend, I am pointing out the place where I am in my life, and that we aren't at that same place, so it has become clear she is not the friend for me.

It has always been my contention that once you feel that a friend is causing you more negative energy than positive, it is time to end the relationship. Sometimes it is hard to see that you and the bad friend are not on the same page, because you tend to try to stick to the friendship. No one wants to be the bad guy, telling someone they're a bad friend, right? And a lot of us don't really take care of our own needs as well a we should, thus letting a bad relationship drag on and on, not even realising that we could possibly be causing our own stress.

I remember one day in my later twenties sitting down wondering why some things in my life just didn't feel right. I wondered why at such a young age I was feeling more stress than I thought I should be. And I realised what it was: DRAMA. It seemed that I had probably a handful or so of friends that every time we hung out, there was drama!! Fights with crappy boy/girlfriends, constant complaining about work, excessive drinking, stagnant goals, repetitive unhealthy behaviors. And I was getting sucked into a lot of these problems that as a friend I thought I had to shoulder.

That's when I realised that friendship works two ways. If the bad friend is feeding off of your positive energy and not feeding you any back, it's time to cut them off. Nice and clean. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but once it has to be done, it must be made clear to the bad friend that the end is the end. Or at least until they break out of the unhealthy behavior and are able to reciprocate positivity. And even though it is clear that the bad friendship is over, it still sucks. I feel bad that I had to let it go, because I value friendships, but I was not feeling very positive about being associated with that person. Tomorrow, I'll feel even better, and yet better than that the next day. Life goes on...

Hilarious Photo

Can't you just picture his head spinning all the way around?.....Right before he kills you....

Question For the Ages

Finally

Well kids, it's been a while. My computer was broken for so long!! It got to a point where I was doing all of my computing on my iPod Touch, which by the way totally rocks. I don't care what all the sheep say, you can do the same things on the Touch that you can do on the iPhone without having that hefty monthly charge. Oh and yes, you can't make phone calls on the Touch. Duh. But anyway, my computer was acting all stupid and everything and I had Geek Squad come and fix it. Cost me two hundred bucks, which normally I'd be totally pissed about, but I really don't know much about what is wrong with a computer when it is broken, nor have I the foggiest idea as to how to fix one. So now I'm out two hundred bucks, but I have my computer back!! It was broken for so long that when I got it fixed, the first thirty minutes I just stared at it. I forgot what I ever did on it--especially since I had been using the touch for just about eveything (except updating all my blogs). But now I have slid seamlessly back into a beautiful relationship with my computer and I haven't gotten of this thing in days!! I have even (finally) signed up for Netflix and have been watching literally hours of movies online. Oh boy, I am so happy to have my computer back. And now, I can go back to my crazy rantings here and across the world wide web.

Who Knew??

I saw this program maybe last year or the year before that stated that because of the condition that global warming has put this region in, we would not see any kind of major snowfall south of Maine going forward. And I believed it to mean that we would not see any snow at all anymore. So imagine my surprise this season with the three snowfalls we've had already. Now, granted, they did not produce anything like the snow I remember we used to get in the late seventies, early eighties here in the city. Hell, the picture above is from three years ago. I remember that snowfall very well. It melted shortly afterward though.

I was hoping against all hope that this snowfall we got today would produce just enough for me and every other kid in the neighborhood to run out and play and sled. But oooh no!! It had to go and rain right afterward. How messed up is that?!?! I mean, what the hell? It pains me to think that the children growing up here in my beloved hometown won't get to enjoy the fun of snow angels, snowball fights (albeit there would be many a concussion--we NYC kids don't throw like wusses), sledding, snow days and even the occasional cross-country skiing and snowshoeing. God I have great memories playing so hard and long in the snow that I would get inside in the evening and literally fall into a coma from exhaustion.

But then again, who knows, these days we could get three feet of pure powder and these kids would just be mildly amused as they fire up their Playstations and XBoxes...

It finally happened, it finally happened!! After numerous tries, trial and error, I FINALLY created a drink at work that is going on the drink list menu!!

My bar manager is one of the best bartenders I have ever worked with. This guy really knows his stuff. He has created our signature drink list at the bar and the drinks are all a hit. He told us one day that he wants us to come up with a drink to add to the list and I took that as a challenge. It was then I threw down the gauntlet and dug in my heels, put my nose to the grindstone and started experimenting. After a few tries, I had already had an unofficial shot that was catching on--in fact, the bar owner has me pour them out whenever he buys rounds. But I wanted more. I wanted a full drink. I wanted to be put on the menu.

Last night, while it was slow, I was poking around the bar as I always do, just checking on things and seeing what was new and what may be missing. I found this jar of hibiscus syrup. Hmm. Interesting. I opened it up, smelled it and the gears started turning. My muse started whispering in my ear and I listened to her intently. Needless to say, in a short time, I came up with a winner. So much so that as I was creating the drink, some customers saw me making it and were curious as I was mixing it up. You see, in our bar, we use fresh ingredients, and all the bar tools you can think of to make our drinks. When customers see this, they get curious. And when they saw me pouring out this exotic hibiscus syrup to make the drink, and putting some muscle into it, their interest was peaked. I let one person take a sip. He immediately liked it, passed it to his friends, they liked it, and then on I went to sell this drink all night that I had just made, and hadn't even had a name for!!

So by a miracle of god, my bar manager drops in to visit. I make the drink for him, and usually--everyone knows this and even laughs about it--he'll take a sip and put on his unimpressed face. Not this time around. He takes a sip of my ambrosia, didn't say anything at first, and kept talking to his friend. I had a feeling he liked it because he didn't put it down. So I kind of make my way over to him again and look at him, he turns to me and says that not only is it good and he likes it, but he breaks down to me just exactly why the drink is good. I was floored!!

So now today, I'm still trying to come up with a name for the drink--I created it last night--and I find that's harder to come up with a name than actually coming up with a new drink. It seems my muse doesn't do names....

But now I feel incredibly accomplished and validated at work. I am already Momma Bear of the bar, but now I have my own drink and the respect of the manager. I am so happy...

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!

Uh....no....

Nights In DC

The seasons changed
weathers chilled
darkened lights
downtempo beats

Grab a chair
hold my gaze
tell me now
rocks or neat

I feel you there
across the room
over space
steaming heat

Piercing stare
visual embrace
shimmering glow
lips so sweet

This special night
unspoken phrase
secret moments
left incomplete